// randomshenans — departures hall

Random
Shenans.

The best things in life are the shenanigans you find yourself in randomly.
Scroll down — this page is the journey, and you're already on it.

Scroll to depart
ODO 000000 KM

Every trip starts
as a bad idea.

Nobody plans a shenanigan. You say yes to the wrong vehicle, point it somewhere ambitious, and let the borders do the rest. Below: every leg of the journey — the done, the active, and the frankly inadvisable. The dotted line is the route. Follow it down.

DEP: ANYWHERE / ARR: SOMEWHERE WRONG GATE 01 — NOW BOARDING CHECKED BAGGAGE: NONE RETURN TICKET: DECLINED
01
Leg 01 / Completed Oct 2024 / Vehicle: Volvo XC90
LON ROV
CarrierVOLVO XC90
Manifest11 COUNTRIES / 11 DAYS
WindowOCT 2024
LEG 01
RS-ARC-011
DONE

The Arctic Trek

Eleven countries in eleven days — October 2024, an RS Garage production: a Volvo XC90 in full livery, roof tent up top, pointed north into the kind of cold that makes car doors argue with you. The maths was brutal — a border a day, give or take, on a schedule with zero room for a bad morning. The Volvo did what Volvos do: complained in every language we drove through, quit in none of them. Eleven for eleven. That car owes me nothing.

COUNTRIES: 11 / DAYS: 11
VEHICLE: VOLVO XC90 + ROOF TENT
OPERATION: RS GARAGE / ARCTIC TREK
STATUS: COMPLETED / 11 FOR 11
The liveried Volvo XC90 parked beneath the Napapiiri Arctic Circle sign in Rovaniemi 66.5436° N 25.8470° E
FR-001 · NAPAPIIRI
the sign says arctic circle. the sky agrees.Napapiiri, Rovaniemi — Leg 01
The XC90 with roof tent at speed on a motorway at dusk BORDER No. 2. OR MAYBE 3.
FR-002 · ISO 400
roof tent up. still heading north.En route — Leg 01
66°33′ N
Crossed the Arctic Circle. Kept driving.
October, that far north: the sun clocks off mid-afternoon. We didn't.
Border Control / Vehicle Exchange 01
The Volvo XC90
11/11. Released with honours.
The €20 Bike
Costs less than lunch.
Eleven countries by expedition Volvo. Next vehicle: twenty euros. Call it a strategy.
The €20 B'Twin bike with its basket parked in front of the Hofburg palace, Vienna 48.2077° N 16.3672° E
FR-011 · KM ZERO
the whole fleet. all €20 of it.Vienna, km 0 — Leg 02
The loaded bike leaning on a green steel bridge railing over the Danube SOMEWHERE ALONG THE DANUBE
FR-012 · ISO 400
still rolling. no idea how.The Danube — Leg 02
Roadside selfie with a fellow long-distance cyclist whose helmet is covered in country flags FLAGS: MORE THAN ME
FR-013 · ISO 400
met a legend on the route.Somewhere en route — Leg 02
02
Leg 02 / Completed Jun 2025 / Vehicle: €20 bike
VIE BUD
Carrier€20 BIKE
Manifest575 KM / 5 DAYS
WindowJUN 2025
LEG 02
RS-2025-002
DONE

The €20 Bike

Vienna to Budapest on a bike that cost twenty euros. Not a good bike. Not a fast bike. A bike with a basket, whose entire value proposition was "probably makes it." Two capitals, one Danube, 575 kilometres in five days — on a price tag lower than most people's lunch. Every kilometre it didn't fall apart felt like winning an argument with physics. It made it. Obviously it made it. The wrong vehicle always wins — proved again, June 2025.

ROUTE: VIENNA → BUDAPEST
DISTANCE: 575 KM / 5 DAYS
VEHICLE COST: €20.00 / SYMPATHY: NONE
STATUS: COMPLETED
Border Control / Vehicle Exchange 02
The €20 Bike
One bike. Exhausted. Owes nothing.
Nine Boarding Passes
Family formation. Four weeks.
Ground vehicles surrendered. The family flies.
03
Leg 03 / Completed Aug 2025 / Vehicle: nine planes
THA → VNM → KHM → THA · 9 FLIGHTS / 4 WEEKS

The Family Airlift

A month in Asia with the kids. Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, back to Thailand — nine flights in four weeks, a logistics operation disguised as a holiday. Different rules with the crew on board, same philosophy: keep moving, say yes, sort it out at the gate. Best month of the year, no contest.

ROUTE: TH → VN → KH → TH
FLIGHTS: 9 IN 4 WEEKS
CREW: THE KIDS
STATUS: AMAZING
The crew in green Grab jackets with drinks at a Ta Hien street bar in Hanoi 21.0347° N 105.8563° E
FR-021 · TA HIEN
the crew, fully localised.Hanoi — Leg 03
An orange off-road buggy throwing up red dust under big Cambodian clouds RED DUST COUNTRY
FR-022 · ISO 51
sightseeing, interpreted loosely.Cambodia — Leg 03
Smiling selfie with family and a new friend in a hotel lobby in Vietnam CHECK-IN: EXTENDED FAMILY
FR-023 · ISO 400
friends made everywhere.Vietnam — Leg 03
04
Leg 04 / Completed Feb 2026 / Duration: two weeks
SRI LANKA · FULL LAP · 2 WEEKS

The Island Lap

Two weeks in Sri Lanka, the whole way round. No base camp, no repeats — keep moving until the island runs out. An entire country lapped properly, edge to edge. Some of it, fittingly, by tuktuk.

COUNTRY: SRI LANKA
DURATION: 2 WEEKS
ROUTE: ALL OF IT
STATUS: LAPPED
The crew standing in front of Sigiriya, Lion Rock, Sri Lanka 7.9570° N 80.7603° E
FR-026 · SIGIRIYA
the crew at lion rock.Sigiriya — Leg 04
Riding in the back of a red tuktuk with a Sri Lanka Wonder of Asia canopy TUKTUK RESEARCH: ACCIDENTAL
FR-027 · ISO 400
the longshot, field-tested by professionals.Wonder of Asia — Leg 04
05
Leg 05 / Boarding Oct 2026 / Duration: six weeks
THAILAND · LAOS · CHIANG RAI · PHU QUOC · BANGKOK

The Six-Week Drift

Six weeks back in Asia: Thailand into Laos, north to Chiang Rai, out to Phu Quoc, landing in Bangkok. Long enough to stop being a tourist. And waiting on the other side of it — the States.

WINDOW: OCT–NOV 2026
DURATION: 6 WEEKS
STOPS: TH · LAOS · CHIANG RAI · PHU QUOC · BKK
STATUS: NOT YET DEPARTED
Boards Oct 2026 / Hasn't happened yet
Border Control / Vehicle Exchange 03 — & One Write-Off
The Bentley GT
Fucked. Sold. Moving on.
The States Run
Vehicle: pending casino results.
One vehicle written off without honours. Its replacement will be decided by a blackjack table.
06
Leg 06 / Boarding Nov / Vehicle: Vegas decides
BOS LAX
RoutingVIA VEGAS + NAPA
Bankroll$1,000 × 4
WindowNOV 2026
LEG 06
RS-USA-004
BOARDING

The States Run

Boston to LA, the wrong way round — out through Vegas, up to Napa, down into Los Angeles. Four of us, and the vehicle doesn't exist yet, because that's the format: we land in Vegas with $1,000 each, and whatever the tables leave us with buys the car. Win big, cross America in something ridiculous. Lose big, cross it anyway in something worse. Side quests mandatory. The wrong vehicle always wins — this time the house picks it.

ROUTE: BOSTON → VEGAS → NAPA → LA
CREW: 4 / STAKE: $1,000 EACH
VEHICLE: WHATEVER VEGAS PAYS FOR
SIDE QUESTS: MANDATORY
The Las Vegas Strip with the Bellagio fountains mid-show 36.1126° N 115.1767° W
FR-031 · RECON
the car budget lives here now.The Strip — Leg 06
Los Angeles skyline at golden hour behind a row of palm trees 34.0522° N 118.2437° W
FR-032 · RECON
the finish line, allegedly.Los Angeles — Leg 06
Border Control / Vehicle Exchange 04
Whatever Vegas Bought
Boston → LA. Details to follow.
The Next Wrong Idea
Candidates: monkey bike, tuktuk.
Nothing issued. Two candidates pencilled in, zero commitments made.
07
Leg 07 / Unconfirmed / Two candidates, zero commitments
??? ULN
FrontrunnerMONKEY BIKES / MONGOLIA
WindowJUL 2027 (ALLEGEDLY)
BasisSPOKE TO SOMEONE
LEG 07
RS-???-???
UNCONFIRMED

The Next Wrong Idea

Nothing about this leg is real yet — that's why it's in pencil. The frontrunner: monkey bikes across Mongolia, next July. Unconfirmed, but I've spoken to someone about it, which by my standards is practically a signed contract. The longshot: a tuktuk from Vietnam to France via every tea region on earth — not planned, not even slightly, still the right kind of stupid. And lurking behind both: Arctic Trek 2 — Norway is still unstamped, and that feels like unfinished business. One of these happens. Possibly none. Possibly all three.

CANDIDATE A: MONKEY BIKES / MONGOLIA / JUL 2027
STATUS A: SPOKE TO SOMEONE. THAT COUNTS.
CANDIDATE B: TUKTUK / VNM → FRA / VIA TEA
STATUS B: NOT EVEN PLANNED
CANDIDATE C: ARCTIC TREK 2 / NORWAY
STATUS C: UNFINISHED BUSINESS
Route pending / commitment-dependent
A rider on a tiny monkey bike heading down a dirt track into the open Mongolian steppe SOURCE: THE GUY I SPOKE TO
FR-041 · BORROWED
the frontrunner, as advertised.Mongolia — Leg 07
A loaded monkey bike catching air off a grass ridge on the Mongolian steppe GROUND CLEARANCE: BRIEFLY INFINITE
FR-042 · BORROWED
the test flight, as advertised.Mongolia — Leg 07

Ground covered — 40 countries

40
Countries stamped.
Still counting.

Every pin is a story — a border queue, a breakdown, a meal that changed my mind about an entire country. Some pins came easy. Eleven of them came in eleven days, in a Volvo that had no business finishing. This isn't a trophy wall. It's a to-do list with the easy bits crossed off.

Form RS-40 / Ground Covered — Carbon Copy Do Not Detach
01 /
40
Countries stamped
02 /
575 KM
Pedalled Vienna → Budapest. Five days.
03 /
20
Cheapest vehicle. Still won.
04 /
11/11
Countries / days. One old Volvo.
PINS DROPPED: 40 PINS PENDING: THE REST MAP DATUM: WGS84 / MEMORY
Final call / Gate always open

Come along on
the next one.

Every border is a chapter. This one's still being written.

Every trip so far has been mine — my bad ideas, my border small-talk, my roadside repairs. That's already changing: the States Run boards with a full car of mates. More seats will follow — co-drivers, camera hands, navigators, anyone whose first reaction to "monkey bikes across Mongolia" is "when do we leave." No promises of comfort, ever.

CarrierRANDOM SHENANS
DestinationTBD
GateOPEN
Passenger____________
Seat2 OF 2
ComfortNOT INCLUDED
Get on the route
or just watch it go wrong ↓

What pays
for the fuel.

The ventures. They cover the diesel, the visas, and the inevitable recovery truck — so the shenanigans don't have to.

FUEL SOURCE: THE COMPANIES ABOVE STATUS: ALL RUNNING